I'm a human...I do things, no matter how much I try to avoid it. Even procrastination turns out to be hard work. Alphabets, stories, dishes, music, cooking, playing games, keeping up with assignments; these are all things that we just do to give us some feeling of being 'ahead of things'. We're not, but it's nice to feel like we are. Off the top of my head (which, if genetics have any say, will be covered in hair for the next forty to sixty years. *whew!*) I can think of at least twenty major things that I need to do today, but I really have to decide to perform these tasks without any significant thought or dissection. So many things could happen throughout the next few days or even the next few minutes that could render whatever tasks I perform today moot.
It always makes me cringe when I see people desperately trying to stay on top of things, frantically planning out every infinitesimal detail of their lives with no margin for error. I prefer to have a malleable plan for things and a general direction for my activities, but I try to not confuse this with being in charge of my own life. All I can do is retain my humanity, move on, and try to not lose sight of the meaningful or fun.
And that actually comforts me.
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